Beautiful In Knowing
by Val-Creative
Summary: Sara knew she was a girl, even if nobody else did or believed her. She ordered Michele to call her "Lady Sara" from now on. He would roll his eyes and grumble, but never correct her own pronouns. She liked "Sara" — it meant "lady, princess, noblewoman". And she would never go back to her deadname. /Canon AU. Trans woman Sara. Saramila. Milasara. Standalone.


**.**

 **.**

Sara knew she was a girl, even if nobody else did or believed her.

(Maybe one day they _would_.)

Her aunt and her wife firmly believed in gender roles combined with assigned sexes. Sara threw out those notions at a very young age, too busy hunting through the attic's chest of theatrical costumes.

The lace dresses and veils, along with red pumps — she loved parading in them, swinging a pearl necklace on her right hand, ordering Michele to call her _Lady Sara_ from now on. He would roll his eyes and grumble, but never correct her own pronouns.

She liked "Sara" _—_ it meant _lady_ , _princess_ , _noblewoman_. And she would never go back to her deadname.

Even if her family couldn't get used to it.

Auntie Laura and Auntie Sofia often misgendered her too, complaining about how difficult it was to remember — " _don't you think you're being a little silly, mio cara_ …"

She's not silly.

She's a _girl,_ whether or not anyone else liked it or wanted to accept it.

Becoming starting her transition became one of Sara's priorities. It took a few years to get herself fully on estrogen and to save up for pre-op surgery, coming to legal age where she no longer needed a guardian's permission for the signatures and paperwork.

It may have been _silly_ to her family, as much as that hurt to realize they wouldn't take her seriously — but Sara felt more herself than ever. She recovered from her surgery with the breast augmentations. She was one step _closer_ in her own mind.

 **.**

 **.**

During the last year of public school, before diving deeper into her skating career, Sara finally got asked out on a date.

His name was Piero. He had lighter skin and a perfectly straight, white smile. Sara didn't mind that he was a year younger than her. They went to the festive, nighttime boardwalk, and he bought her a sweet caramel pudding treat.

Sara felt nervous about being taken to his apartment, her skin itchy and _burning_ where he touched, his fingers urging open her slim thighs.

She told him about not being post-op, her heart racing. Piero stared at her lap eagerly.

"Really? Can I see it?" he asked, dark brown eyes lighting up with a sickening fascination. Sara almost said no, flinching, but Piero's bigger hands gripped her knees harshly, keeping her from escaping.

He wouldn't let go until Sara hiked up her dress, peeling off her underwear. Piero didn't wait, thrusting a hand between her legs and fondling.

The humiliation and fear burned _hotter_ in Sara's chest, bringing tears to her eyes. He lurched back as if struck, making a disgusted face and laughing aloud, pointing a finger.

"I can't believe I fucking _touched_ it _…_ "

Sara choked out a weak, breathy sob, getting up and running out the apartment door.

Piero wasted no time outing her as a " _tranny_ " to their classmates and bragging about how he saw " _the penis_ " while she allegedly begged Piero for sex, even willing to pay for it.

The rumors died quickly after Michele confronted him during lessons, tackling and punching Piero in the mouth, knocking out two of his perfect, straight teeth. They both were suspended — one for fighting on school grounds, and the other for bullying and slander.

"He's a _pig_ ," Michele mumbled, cringing when Sara pressed the icepack to his bruised eye.

They gazec out at Lido de Venezia, while the sandbar washed in oranges and pinks, and the vaporettos cruised along the Adriatic Sea.

She didn't end up disagreeing with him, nodding silently. Her little, brown toes wiggled on the sun-bleached rocks.

"I didn't always understand when we were kids." Sara gazed over to her twin, brushing a long, black strand of hair out of her eyes. To her amazement, Michele _cried._ A kind of quiet crying with stony features, but the emotions broke Michele's voice. "But I think I get it now. You're my _sister_ and nobody is ever allowed to hurt you like that again, Sara."

Sara cried too, overjoyed, hugging herself tightly to his front. She was _safe_ in her brother's arms.

Nobody but _Mickey_ had ever done that for her.

 **.**

 **.**

Since then, he trusted no man to be alone around Sara or even talk casually to her. His over-protectiveness began to escalate. As much as Sara appreciated Michele knocking the holy hell out of transmisogynists, it hinders her _dating_. Specifically with _boys_ who weren't hurtful to her.

Wasn't that the best option? To try again?

Sara competed for Nationals for the very first time, having embraced her identity and her body image. The rest of her surgery came and went.

Eventually, she met _Mila Babicheva —_ a talented Russian girl, full of teasing humor and charisma.

She's _hot_.

Boys aren't.

 **.**

 **.**

"I told you about Yurio, didn't I?" Mila announced, looking up to the ceiling of the hothouse, adjusting her sleeveless top.

Sara frowned. "A rinkmate?"

"He's only fifteen. He came out as trans to our coach, and to me and Viktor and Georgi." Mila shrugs. "I'm trying to learn more about it."

There was a flutter in her stomach. Sara dipped her fingers pensively into the water of a steel basin.

"You should let him know about it… he'll need the support…"

The rosy, water-drenched flowers swirled and kisses Sara's fingertips. Mila didn't _know_.

"I'm a trans woman," Sara admitted, shocking herself with how _levelheaded_ she sounded. This was their friendship… Mila _should_ know, even if everything could be ruined…

The other woman examined her thoughtfully, curling a reddish lock of hair around her finger.

"Okay."

 _Wait what?_

"And you're a lesbian," Mila said informatively, waving her blue raspberry lollipop in her free hand.

Sara leaned away from her, eyebrows raising.

" _What_?" she blurted out, confused by the giggle.

"Everything you've told me before… about trying to be with guys, but it never _feels right…_?" Mila explained pointedly, looking over her. "It's the same thing I went through. That's okay."

The water calmed Sara, not as warm as the ocean from home, but Mila's eyes felt… _warmer_. Like she was submerging and safe.

"You know everything, don't you?" Sara mocked a pout, flicking some water in Mila's direction.

"It's a gift."

She wants to kiss the blue raspberry _grin_ right off Mila's face.

 _Sometime_.

 **.**

 **.**

* * *

 _Yuri on Ice isn't mine. Happy **Lesbian Visibility Day**! All my love to my lesbian friends and readers, and especially my trans lesbians out there! You deserve the same love on this day. I thought since I needed to update today that more representation for trans lesbians was needed. This a little more character study and about Sara being trans, but her lesbian identity is just as fundamental in this. I hope this makes TERF/TWERFS mad lmao and it probably will, but they are gross. Anyway, thanks for reading and positive thoughts are welcomed or comments! I snagged this off of YOI Kink Meme for " **Sara/Mila - Sara is a trans woman** "!  
_


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